"People usually consider walking on water or in thin air a miracle. But I think the real miracle is not to walk either on water or in thin air, but to walk on earth. Every day we are engaged in a miracle which we don't even recognize: a blue sky, white clouds, green leaves, the black, curious eyes of a child -- our own two eyes. All is a miracle." - THICH NHAT HANH
Whether it’s a bouquet of well-intentioned, half-dead flowers from the corner liquor store, the stale box of drugstore candy with someone else’s name on it, or the Valentine that never came, everyone’s got a love-gone-wrong story.
As the world prepares to celebrate Valentine’s Day, RU is thrilled to announce our first annual Tainted Love Contest.
We want your absolute worst.
The most wretched, overwrought and bruise-worthy purple prose you can possibly fit into one sentence containing no more than seventy words.
We want a sentence so bad your keyboard will cringe and your monitor might explode with the awfulness of it.
Here are examples written by RU staffers:
Sloppy kisses sounded romantic in a bodice-ripping way, but with his tongue slithering down her throat like a slightly furred snake and his stale tobacco flavored saliva mixing disgustingly with hers, she decided to leave French kissing to the French in the future, and to avoid men with hot eyes and flecks of egg in their beards altogether. (Becke)
The party was winding down, as parties do, when my wandering eye caught the startling beauty I just had to have – her black ski mask contrasted with the rough and tumble red locks dangling from just under the hem, and the blue eyes that sparkled with mischief from behind the twin holes in the mask as she aimed the Uzi in our general direction. (Carrie)
It wasn’t the smoldering like a five-day tire fire, wanna-get-lucky look Wanda gave Earl beneath her press-on lashes, or her soft, sweet lips, reminiscent of a mashed praline on Bourbon Street in mid-July, but her breasts, which resembled two fried eggs that had him yearning for a Denny’s Grand Slam breakfast. (Jen)
I've been in kind of a holding pattern with my writing for a few weeks. At first it was a conscious choice - I wanted to take a break and re-charge. But this last week, every time I sit down to write, I end up...not.
I keep coming across quotes that make me feel as if the universe is telling me to get off my ass and write. I'm paying attention, honestly. But sometimes it's like a magnetic force separates me from the keyboard, at least when I have a .doc file open. A Cone of Silence of sorts.
First of all, this quote resonates with me:
But these are the messages I really needed to hear:
The pack rat gene runs strong in my family, although we prefer to call it "collecting."
My grandmother collected china and, later, rabbits - mainly because, once we knew she liked them (not in real life, but in decorative items), from that point on all of her birthday and Christmas gifts from her numerous grandchildren featured rabbits in one form or another.
My mom collects Quimper pottery, quilts and blue-and-white - china, fabrics and everything else. She collected a whole lot more before moving to a smaller house forced her to be more selective.
My daughter collects Blythe dolls, cool make-up and deer (hard to describe, but very cute). My son has a world class collection of shot glasses, to which I contributed more than a few. My husband collects old Bibles and religious icons, and I'm pretty sure he has every Beatle record ever made.
I'm more of a dabbler than a true collector - somehow I've acquired (many as gifts) a number of china, pottery and miniature cats, several Jim Shore figures (my daughter likes them, too), gnomes, china plates with floral decorations, Christmas ornaments, vintage embroidered silk postcards, other old postcards, miniature cottages, old tea cups and old books (some VERY old) on every topic imaginable. I'm sure I've forgotten to mention some things.
I try really hard not to be a packrat, but it was easier when we were young and moved a lot. The trouble with having lots of storage space is you, well, STORE things! I've recently discovered something that may change my whole concept of collecting - AND save me a small fortune. It's called PINTEREST.
Pinterest, a virtual pinboard, describes the site this way:
Pinterest lets you organize and share all the beautiful things you find on the web. People use pinboards to plan their weddings, decorate their homes, and organize their favorite recipes.
Best of all, you can browse pinboards created by other people. Browsing pinboards is a fun way to discover new things and get inspiration from people who share your interests.
I'd heard about it, but my initial response was a resounding "meh" - I've got social media covered, thanks very much. But my friend, fellow Romance University staffer and critique partner JENNIFER TANNER joined up and said it was fun, so I gave it a shot. I blame her for my current addiction.
I joined Pinterest less than one week ago. If you check out my wall there, you will find 21 boards, 819 pins and 194 likes. I don't think "obsession" would be too much of an exaggeration.
Not that I plan to continue at my current pace. I gave myself the month of January "off" after completing a 99,000 word novel AND a 15,000 word novella just before the end of 2011. I spent my time working on taxes, reading and - obviously! - playing on Pinterest. Today I'm back to writing, revising and blogging. I'm not quitting Pinterest cold turkey, but I won't be pinning at my current pace.
Probably.
A little backstory. I'm a very visual person. You can tell me your name a hundred times, but I'm unlikely to remember it until I see it written down. I was always good at that kids' game called Memory, because it's all visual.
As an example of my visual leanings, I signed up with Shelfari back in the day even though many of my friends were over on Goodreads. Why? Because I liked the virtual bookshelf on Shelfari.
See? Pretty cool, isn't it? Much more fun than keeping lists of all the books I read on spreadsheets, like I've done a few times in the past.
So, back to Pinterest. Here's why I like it:
1) It's easy, even for a techno-klutz like me.
2) I like pretty pictures, and it's fun to save them in groups.
3) It's fun to see what other people like.
4) It's not time-consuming. (Theoretically.)
5) It's almost as much fun as collecting the real things.
Here are the two big bell-ringers, though:
6) It's FREE - think of all the money I save by not actually BUYING this cool stuff!
and
7) I DON'T HAVE TO DUST IT!
I just found a Pinterest blog, which offers lots of tips on how to use it. They also have a Facebook page.
If there's a way to find my most popular boards or images, I haven't figured that out yet. To give you an example, though, I posted this cute picture late last night and it's already been repinned 13 times. It's not rocket science, it's just fun.
Writing isn't an easy job, and I have immense respect for those who have made a success of it. Every death is important, but I always feel a strong sense of loss when an author dies.
This is a salute to the authors who died in 2011, in no particular order. If you know of others I missed, let me know and I'll add them. These are primarily - but not all - romance, mystery and paranormal authors.
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